OK! YES! I am gaining back my friends whoo hoo! Today in a chat me and Shelby had a regular friendly convo!! WHOO HOO! 1 down like 6 more to go lol hha! I still am not happy, things wont be the samei bet they will never talk to me or put me in there profiles or anything. I am such a depressed chick lol. But thankfully god listend to me and he made my life better! Because if Shelby likes me then soon everyone will again n then badda bang badda boom i got instant happyness whoo hoo! K well I'm out! PEACE! Love Always, Half Loner K8!!

Ok today was a wierd day. I woke up at like 1:40. Then did nothing, then today at 4:00 i got a call from Amy. To go to the pool wit her. At first I was worried and jesitant, that it might be a trick and everyone will be there to do something mean to me. But luckily I went, and it wasn't. She is such a sweet person. She's true and ginuwine and still likes me. She said shes going to get them to like me, i doubt it will work though. Today I imed Shelby. It was quite interesting. Well I think things may be a little better, the reason why they are hesitant to be my friend is because they feel weird from stuff they heard. They think i am a lesbian!!!!!! I am not! I love guys! I sent her a really long e-mail trying to apoiligize to get her to like me again. I doubt it will work. My life is screwed gosh darn it! This sucks so much it's not even funny. They all have been threw this kind of stuff and they know what it feels like to have everyone hate them. But they don't know how it feels to have to defend there sexuality and for everyone to call them lesbian and stuff. This hurts so bad. OMG!!!!! OMG!!!! OMG!!!!! She's sorry! We're ok!! OMG!!! This is the happiest moment of my life!! Things are turning regular!! OMG OMG OMG! I might be getting my friends back! She believes me! I'm crying!! For the past month i have been depressed and sad and omg now I might have friends again!!!!! AWWW this is so omg omg omg! I hope this isn't just a short term thing and we really do last as friends! She's being so nice and coming clean. Omg I might be a non depressed happy person again!( i hope i pray please god please!) This is so awesome. Cya later! Love Always, Half Loner k8!! WHOOHOO!

I just watched a few tv shows. Undressed and Movie House. I finished my book. It's an ok book I guess. i really hate reading, so ya know. I only read books in the form of diaries, all other books I can't stand to read. It's 11:39. Somebody just imed me but I don't really know him so I don't care and he annoys me anyways so grrr! Gosh my life is so boring! I feel sorry for whoever has to read this wow! U must be half as bored as I am! Wow!! Hmm.. I wish I had an exciting fun filled crazy life. But I don't have any friends to hang out with and go places that are fun with!! Gosh this is a suckiest summer ever. Last summer I was with Shelby like everyday. This summer nope not with anyone. Wowio this is one Boringo summer! Amy IMed me, I don't know if she likes me though because I'm not in her profile, but at least she'll talk to me! WHOO HOO! Her summer is all fun.. Mine is all well not fun! Gosh this boy is being an @$$hole LEAVE ME ALONE JERK OFF!! He's like o yeah I forgot ppl are taking a break from you, when he asked if I had a boyfriend and I said no. Gosh damn lil jerk needs a life and needs to stop IMing me! GrRrR! LoL! Aww I miss having friends. :[ :[ I am having liek withdrawl of people(sleepovers, mall, movies, pool, hangin out, etc.) GRR! What can I do?? NOTHING I'm a loner. I can watch tv, read, write in this blog, play computer games, and thats about it. Gosh! And I think I'm gaining weight which sucks. In Utah I lost weight cuz I barely ate anything, and now I eat everything GRR! I am such a waste of space on this earth lol..! No for real.. I have no purpose. I don't know who I like cuz I haven't seen any boys this summer that I did like. I'm kind of a confused person lol, the boy I did think i loved Justin I don't know if I still do because I haven't seen him in awhile. And I don't know what type of boys I like anymore. Because I just don't lol! Well no boys could go out with me anyways, cuz I can't leave my house to see them or anything cuz everyones mad at me :[ :[ The reasons why they are mad at me I don't know anymore. The reasons were I did no, but they might of changed. I dont get the reasons that they did have before anyways. I just wish I could go back in time and change this. I thought they would forgive me in like a day because thats what we did with like cecilia and stuff. But nope this is lasting liek forever(or at least till september!) GOSH THIS SUCKS!! No friends, no boys, no nothing! Hmm Maybe I should spend my summer getting really fit. Like go running, situps, crunches, curlups, pushups, etc. I want a tan too, so I will have to get out of my house sometime lol! And I wanna get my hair cut!! It's so rough, n split enddy right now. It's so sad I damaged my hair :[ I sued to have such thich pretty brown hair. Now I got some ugly blond, thin, ruined hair!! GRRR!!!! LoL! Well I'm gonna go! Love always, *Loner K8*

Just wanted to say.. I have 8 people online on my buddy list(More like People I know list) And not one of them IM's me!! HAHA! I'm a loner! I wish they would talk to me again, cuz then i wouldn't be so bored! Maybe I'll IM Shelby n ask her when they will reconsider being my friend! SIKE OMG that would be so gay I'd die If I did that. She'd respond saying ew get a life loser kate. We don't like you and never will. Aww Loner forever!! Love Always, Loner K8!! *Sk8eR b0i RoX* OO I wish I could go to the pool with friends because i got the two cutest bathing suits at gadzooks while in Utah! And cute jeans, denim jacket, and cami and some other shirts! But it's ok i got nowhere to go, nobody to show! BOOHOO!!

Hey! This is my blog, it's gonna be boring just like my life. My life is boring. It's summer and it's the worse summer of my life! Everyone always loves summer-gets together with friends, sleepovers, movies, pool etc etc.. Not me! I used to do those thigns but now no.. I have nobody to do that stuff with it's so sad lol! My whole summer is going to be in my house all alone doing nothing but being online talking to no one. That is why I'll write in you about how boring this is. HAHA! isn't this just the greatest life ever. Wake up, Do nothing, A little more nothing, Go on line, Watch TV, READ A BOOK(Wow that's how bored I am), Eat, Eat more, Go back on aol, and hmm.. Sleep. Wow that seems like a fun summer doesn't it! I'm so jealous of everyone who has friends to hang out with and talk to! Lucky them haha! Notice all my ha's, I'm trying to keep a positive look on this boring summer not to be so gloomy n down. Since that's how I would be because I am isolated from the outdoor world haha not quite that bad. But to a 13 year old girl, this seems like hell. I have casual aquaintteces(SP) friends, A few social friends from shool I believe, but no inner group close friends. N then I have my volleyball friends. But really no one, because social friends, and casual friends, and volleyball friends don't compare to like a group of friends who are your everything friends. Like I talk to people but they aren't like how my friends were, I can't call them up just to talk and invite them over or anything. And with my volleyball friends I can't do that either becuase they don't attend my school. So pretty much I got no one. This is gonna be a great summer(ha yeah right) My friends that don't like me anymore said that at the end of the summer they think this will be cleared up. I sure hope so! Imagine this life during school. Total outcastism, not knowing where to sit, no partners for class, nobody to talk with, nothing, nobody! AH! My life is just dandy isn't it! I bet YOU have a nicer life then me! I just wish my old friends were my friends again, I'm so darn sorry for whatever is still bothering them about me! :[ BOOHOO! I wan't a regular life again! A laugh filled, fun filled, happy filled good kind of life! A life where I can go out with my friends and not have to stay home alone worrying if I go to the pool they will be there to make fun of me or I'll look like a freak. Gosh, I can't do anything! I am a paranoid freak, aren't I. Well I have my reasons, I've been through stuff that now I need to be cautious or else..! Gosh this is quite pathetic, don't you think.. Writing in a "blog" about nothing! Right now it's 8:35. The amount of calls I have this summer zero! I wish that my friends would at least talk to me casually online, so this would be a little less wierd at the end of the summer. We might not have anything in common by then. AHH My life is ruined haha! I hope I can transfer schools to save myself from the embarassment. I miss my friends, they were funny! Aww! I got no one left :[ Today let's do a recap of exactly what I did. I woke up at 2:40. Went on aol, Played a computer game. Went back on aol. Watched Tv, read a book. Ate cookies, went on aol. Watched tv and read a book. Ate a salad. And now I'm here. Writing in a "blog" WOW! That's really fun!! I remember once I had one of these things before when my life made sense and I wrote this big huge thing and it got deleted I was so pissed! GRR! Well actually when I wrote that my life only made half sense because I was at Emily's house trying to recover from a fight with two of my friends. But then they forgave me and everything was just dandy. Now everyone's mad at me and nothing's just dandy! And it won't be just dandy until possibly september! This is just the oppisite of dandy. It's miserable. And I miss my grandma. I feel so bad for people who loose family or somebody they know gets taken away. If I could do anything I'd make it so Shelby had her dad, I had my grandma and anyone else I know who's lost a family member had them back. Because the greif they go threw is just awful. When I was at Utah for nationals for volleyball, we went to all these morman church things. And this girl who worked there said that if you pray to god he'll answer. Well everything I've ever prayed for never happened. I've prayed for a lot, and not selfish stupid things real sincere things. And I got no signs back or anything. So I don't believe what she said anymore. And "everything happens for a reason" I dont see any good in losing a parent, aunt, uncle, grandparent, friend or anything. There's no good to that. What do they benefit by losing someone? And what do people gain by having no friends, or people getting mad at them, or rumors happeneing that are just plain un true and awful. Nothing.. It doesn't make you stronger it makes you hurt, sad, and so worried that everyone's talking bad about you when your not there. I don't understand this crazy world anymore. I just wish everything made sense, and I had my friends back, and people had there loved one back(Me-grandma). Is that really to much to ask?? Why make it so I have to be sad, lonely, and gloomy all the time. Why not make it so I have people to talk to, people to hang out with, etc. Ew this is really sounding gay now! Gonna stop lol! Hmm, I wonder what my AMAZING FUN AWESOME life will be like tomorrow.. I'm sure it will be just dandy and exciting. Yeah right cough cough SURE! What do I write in this for anyways? Why don't I just write all this down in a place where people won't read it instead of a place where people will read it. Oh I know because I'm to lazy to go write in my diary. Who cares if people read this, everyone already knows that I live a boring sad life anyways lol. I don't know how long it's been since I've had friends. I think I know about a month, but they claim it's been going on longer then just like June. So hmm that's even worse. Gosh why do I live such a terrible dull life.. LOL!! Oh this is the life alright--boredom and lonlyness o yeahh! O n jealousy too! Because everyone that used to be my friends still have all there friends and do stuff and yet they hate me.. I wonder what next year will be like. If I'll go back into my group (if they like me again) Or if I'll be a loner, Or if I'll find a new group. I know I won't find a new group because my group was the only group to be friends with. Oh I could be friends with like Erica Ford and her friends.. Oh no this sounds bad.. !! PLEASE HOPE THEY BECOME FRIENDS WITH ME AGAIN. I can't stand that Erica girl, she's so rude n ahh eww! Well I'm out I guess.. Cya!! Love Always, LONER K8
O by the way If you don't have the Avril Lavigne cd already go out and buy it! It kicks @$$!! I love it number 3 sk8er boi rocks WHOO HOO! It's the bestest song ever !!! YEEAAH! (Looking for a boi of my own lol but how can I get a guy if I got no friends LOL!)